dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize