i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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