my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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