TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
