Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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