Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
