you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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