i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
