My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i barfeds in our rink
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
