is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
