Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
