dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
