Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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