id be glad to
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
