had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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