this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize