no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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