the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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