I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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