I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
