Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
