Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
