New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
