jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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