So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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