Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
