hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
