i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
