I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize