they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
