Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
