I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
