i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
