I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
