You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
