8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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