I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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