I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
