I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
