she woke up with a sticky ear
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
