Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
is it fun? or sober?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
