my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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