so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I have tasted many bathrooms
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
there is glitter all over my balls
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