She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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