I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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