Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
