I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
