i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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