don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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