I murdered the dance floor call the cops
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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