My room smells like vodka and shame
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize