I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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