Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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