anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
