the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
