Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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