So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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