I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
