Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
That's intense
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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