do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Randomize
