I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
im holly from the hills drunk
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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