That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
