i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
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